Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
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My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
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Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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