So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
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it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
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She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize