You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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