Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Randomize