I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Randomize
