you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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