I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
We are two peas in an std pod
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Randomize
