I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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