you guys were way drunker than both of me
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
