i just had sex bonerless
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
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