Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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