I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
