I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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