id be glad to
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
