Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
