Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
