Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
