Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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