LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
