you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Randomize