do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
