Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
21 Ladies Reveal The Sexiest Thing A Man Can Do In A Public Setting
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week