he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.