I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
