There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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