i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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