shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
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