party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
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We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
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There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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