and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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