she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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