I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
