You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Randomize
