I'd wear matching sweaters with you
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
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