I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize