its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
We need to rekindle our bromance
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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