I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
