before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Randomize
