she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
