I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
