and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
