Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
