Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
