I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
