Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Randomize
