so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Randomize
