Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Im part way to drunk.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
