tequila makes me forget i have legs
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
