since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
