Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
