The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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