did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
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