I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
