Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Randomize
