her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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