we have pet lesbian snakes
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
