do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Randomize
