All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
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