It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
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