no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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