did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
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