shes about as inviting as chlamydia
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
A+ Viking dick
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
